To the Donor family,

We would love to share a little about our family with you and what has led us here to Embryo Solutions. [Her name2] and I met twenty two years ago, we were both working in a hospital, and at the time we had not known each other well, but our paths seemed destined to cross. Eventually we both moved on to other jobs and careers. [Her name2] had married, had two sons, and pursued a career as a kindergarten teacher working with children diagnosed with autism. [Her name2]  is now the director of the special education program's extended school year in our local school district, and she is also working on her special education supervisory certificate. l had begun my career as a special education educator, taught in a high school for ten years, and then pursued a degree in clinical social work. I have worked in hospitals, outpatient practices, residential treatment facilities, with children in the child welfare system, and with children transitioning into foster placements or adoptive homes. Now I am working as a trauma and EMDR therapist in an outpatient practice for adults and children. I am in the process of becoming certified in the area of perineal health, and furthering my training in treatments for bereavement, child loss, and complex trauma.

[Her name2]  and I reconnected while both attending a professional conference six years ago and from there our relationship grew. [Her name2]  had been divorced for 10 years and had been a single mother to her two boys who are now twenty and seventeen years old, and had experienced her own fertility struggles prior to the birth of her second son. I had been living on my own, I was supporting my parents who experienced multiple health complications as they aged, and I was longing for a family of my own. I had grown up in a Jewish community watching the families in my community around me grow. I knew that what I had always wanted was to be a mother and have children of my own, and also knew that identifying as gay, having my own children would not be simple. After exploring many options, I found myself beginning the process of fertility treatments in 2019 at the age of 39. [Her name2]  and I had been dating for several years by then and we made the decision to move in with each other in 2020, and to proceed with fertility treatments as a couple. After four failed IUIs we went through our first IVF cycle, which miraculously, was a success, and our beautiful daughter was born in September of 2021.

Being her mothers has been the most incredible experience of our lives. The experience of pregnancy, becoming a mother, and bringing this amazing little person into this world has brought me more joy and gifts than I had ever imagined. I have loved every second of it, even the hard parts such as lack of sleep and toddler negotiations. As we have watched our little girl grow, our desire to be "moms” again has grown too. I know I became a parent at a much older age than most parents, and while sometimes I wish I could have begun this journey earlier in my life, I have to trust that it happened at the exact time it was supposed to happen. Now I am finding myself longing for that experience again. The experience of pregnancy, of growing my family, and of welcoming another beautiful child into this world. I want to be a mother again and I want to give our daughter the opportunity to have a sibling her age who she can grow up with.

Shortly after our daughter's first birthday I contacted our fertility clinic to talk about the possibility of trying for a second child. I knew the chances of becoming pregnant again at the age of 43 were much lower, however because of how I responded to the IVF protocol the first time, my physician felt I was a good candidate to try again. I went through an IVF cycle in April of 2023, but unfortunately we did not have any genetically viable embryos. My physician felt that trying a second cycle was appropriate and we began that cycle in August of 2023. The egg retrieval was on a Thursday, the next day we found out that five eggs had been fertilized, and two days later I received a call from my physician who was tasked with sharing the heartbreaking news that an embryologist had mistakenly discarded our fertilized eggs. We were devastated, angry, and very confused. Our clinic did everything that they could to investigate and explain how the mistake occurred, and they immediately implemented new security protocols in their lab to ensure such a mistake would not happen again. They told us that a mistake like this had never happened in their lab before, they ensured that every cost of that cycle was covered, they assured us that they would cover the cost of all subsequent cycles, and do everything that they could to right the mistake. I’m not sure that this could ever be made right, however after taking some time to process and grieve this loss, our clinic did help us complete a third IVF cycle in October of 2023. Sadly, again that cycle also did not result in any viable embryos.

At that point we realized that we needed to face the reality of the quality of my eggs due to my age and the decreasing chances of success. The next recommendation from my physician was to explore the options of using donor eggs or a donor embryo. We began researching both, and while I do believe that for many families the option to use donor eggs is an important option to have available in fertility treatments, it did not feel right for us. After careful consideration and a lot of thought, we found that the possibility of adopting a donor embryo felt right. It felt meaningful and personal. Having the opportunity to carry that embryo and to give that embryo life felt like a beautiful option for us, and a beautiful gift we could give to a child. Having been through fertility treatments for the past four years I have an understanding of how precious embryos are. I have always imagined having a family with many children and our greatest wish is to be able to give our daughter a sibling. I find myself fearing that one day she will feel alone. I want her to experience having a sibling to play with, to learn with, and to grow with.

When I think about what it is I want you to know about us, these are the things that come to mind;

• There is a lot of love in our home! In addition to a teenager and a toddler, (the oldest lives in his own apartment), we have an eight year old Russian Blue cat and a twenty one year old chinchilla. Our cat is loving, affectionate, gentle with the baby, and usually makes good choices (except when there is chicken or other tasty treats left in his vicinity)!

• We live in a modern colonial style home, split level, with three large bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, a living room, kitchen, dining room, mudroom, and a den that we have turned into a playroom. We have a large basement and attic space for storage. Our favorite feature is the large wrap-around porch that we use all year long, with space for tables and chairs, a hammock, our daughter’s toys, pool, and water tables. We also have a large yard, with swings, and lots of space to safely run and play. Our home provides ample space for family, entertaining, and play, and the bedrooms are more than spacious for future children.

• Our work schedules complement each other perfectly to allow for flexibility with childcare. For the hours that we are both at work at the same time, our daughter is cared for by a close family friend who has been caring for our daughter since she was an infant. We are also in the process of researching preschool programs for our daughter to begin attending when she turns three. Being in the fields of education and psychology, both of our careers have given us many tools to use as parents to ensure that we are attentive to our childrens’ emotional and intellectual needs, and their overall growth and development.

• As a family we have fun and laugh as much as we can!

• When things are hard, we talk about them, and when we need to, we can cry and be the support we need to be for each other.

• The Jewish holidays are very important to us, we have a Sabbath dinner every Friday night, we attend a synagogue, we celebrate the Jewish holidays throughout the year, and there are lots of programs for Jewish families and children in our community.

• Family is also very important to us, my father passed away in 2018, and my mother has Alzheimer's but loves spending time with her granddaughter. [Her name2] mother and stepfather, and father and stepmother are wonderful grandparents who are always there to support their grandchildren.

• We love to spend time outdoors, we often visit parks, local farms, and in the summer like to spend time at the beach.

• We also enjoy trips to museums, zoos, aquariums, and visiting new and interesting places.

• We can appreciate quiet days at home and indoor activities such as reading, board games or a good movie. Our daughter loves books, crafts, painting, coloring, bubbles, decorating with stickers and lots of imaginative play with her toys.

• We love music! [Her name2] plays piano and I grew up playing violin. Our daughter also loves listening to music, dancing, playing on our piano and we recently introduced her to her first violin.

• We believe education is important. We are always looking for ways to expand our daughter’s world and to help her develop a love of learning. We want to make sure we choose schools and academic programs that will foster her desire to learn, to be curious, to be creative, and to feel safe.

• We believe values are important. What we want to instill in all of our children is that importance of kindness, respect, and honesty. We want our children to know it is okay to have feelings, that they can talk to us about anything, and that we value and believe in them. We strive each day to lead by example and more than anything else, we want our children to know that they are important and loved.

We understand that embryo donation is a personnel, emotional, and complex decision, and one that is made only after a great deal of consideration. As we said earlier, we understand how precious a gift an embryo is. We want you to know how grateful we are for considering entrusting us with that gift. We would be happy to answer any further questions you have about us and our family. Lastly, we want you to know that any child that becomes a part of our family will be cherished and loved, and will always know what a precious and beautiful gift they are.

Sincerely,