My fertility journey began some years ago. It began when I went to visit my sick mother in the hospital. While I was in her room talking to her and praying that she was okay, she turned to me and said to me that she wanted me to have another grandchild for her. I looked at her and said that she had to be joking. She looked at me with the most endearing look I have ever seen her make. She said to me that she was serious. I left the hospital stunned that my mother put into words the feelings that I had deep in my heart. I did want to have another child but I had never spoken of it out loud except to the Lord when praying at night. My mom knew me and her intuition was spot on. My mother died sometime after I visited her in the hospital. Her wish for me to have another child was her final wish and task for me. I was determined to follow through on it. I was at a loss as to where to begin this journey. I had testing through my doctor and found out that I had secondary infertility. He suggested IVF. It was all surreal to me as I knew no one who had done it before. I was ashamed that I couldn’t get pregnant the natural way like I did with my other children. When I found out how much this whole IVF process would cost, I felt so discouraged. I cried and prayed for weeks to months on end about how we were going to go through with IVF. After much soul-searching and prayer, we decided to move forward with IVF. I got pregnant on my first try with a beautiful little girl. We knew it was a little girl because we had our eggs PGT tested. My husband and I were so excited. I made it as far as being discharged from my fertility clinic to moving to my OB/GYN doctor. My first appointment with my OB/GYN was supposed to be a happy time but it wasn’t. During the sonogram at that appointment my doctor informed me that I had twins not one baby but there was an incomplete split (they were attached at the stomach) and they had no heartbeat. I was devastated. I fell to the floor in disbelief in the doctor’s office. I had surgery to remove my babies because my doctor wanted to study them to see went wrong. It turns out that it was a one in a million fluke which was even more devastating. After that I tried again a couple of FET’s which were unsuccessful. I then took a significant amount of time off to regroup, get my mind, body and spirit together. During this time when I was trying to figure things out, I had a dream with my mom in it. She came and told me that she loved me and that I should keep going. So I did. I called my fertility clinic and told them I wanted to come back and do another FET with my final embryo that I had left. In May 2024, I finally got pregnant with my baby. I was so happy as my stomach started expanding and I looked pregnant. I felt like I had finally made it. My husband and I had finally allowed ourselves to make future plans for our baby. I even told my daddy that we were having a baby. He knew about my mom’s wish so he was so excited. All of the doctor’s appointments were filled with good news up until late July 2024 when it was time to have our last sonogram at the fertility clinic. As my husband held my hand and I had my crucifix in my other hand, my doctor started the sonogram and to our dismay the baby had no heartbeat. My husband held my hand as I just sobbed like a baby. I thought I had beat the odds. The saving grace was the doctor telling me that I should be proud that I am able to carry a baby and that the pregnancy loss had nothing to do with me. I told her that my heartaches to be a mom again. My doctor just held my hand and told me how much she wants that for me too. I love being a mom. I have so much love to still give. I am here trying to adopt embryos so that we can complete our family and make my mother’s dream come true as well. My husband and I both work at home. He works during the day and I work at night. This allows us to take care of our new baby to come. We are so excited to add to our brood. We have a wonderful home with more than enough space for the new little one. We recently added another floor to my home to make more room for a baby. This baby will have three loving siblings who are great babysitters and are fun. We do everything together as a family. We have dinner every night as a family. We have family game night once a week. We also love anime! We go to conventions dressed in costumes and we do Halloween really big! We go on cruises together. We go to church together as well. My home is full of laughter. My husband has a great sense of humor which my youngest son inherited. My two sons attend school while my daughter is working on her certification. Education is a priority in our household. This baby will be exposed to all types of learning even in the womb. I sing in church so the baby will be exposed to music as well from the very beginning. We have a corner property so we have a large backyard for our new little one to play in. It is fenced in for safety. We entertain in the summer in the backyard and have family over for barbecues. This baby will have a loving extended family as well. My daddy can’t wait to meet his new grandchild.

Know that your baby is so wanted and will be loved tremendously. Your gift of life is the kindest and most selfless thing that I could ever ask for. I take this job of being a mother seriously and with every fiber of my being. My husband is right here with me praying for the gift of this little one. Your gift becomes my blessing and I will forever be grateful for it.