Hello!

 

My name is [Her name] and my husband is [His name]. We have one son who was conceived with my egg and donor sperm through IUI. He is the culmination of years, well more like almost a decade, of trying to get pregnant naturally, then getting an azospermia diagnosis for my husband. A few years went by and I really thought the path to parenthood had ended, until my husband finally came around to the idea of using donor sperm. It was a difficult decision for him, not really because the child wouldn't be genetically his, but more because he was afraid he wouldn't be a good father. (Spoiler alert...he's a great Daddy!) For us, this decade was the difficult part of our fertility journey. I know for some, the relentless fertility treatments are where the biggest struggles lay. Once we actually began the process of fertility treatments, we got pregnant with the first IUI. At 42, that was pretty fantastic. My pregnancy was actually really easy and enjoyable, if you ignore the nausea for 15 weeks and the swollen ankles in the last month! Even those I chalked up as a right of passage and treasured each sip of root beer to keep from vomitting. I still laugh with one of my schools who wondered why I was late one day after Christmas Break. I explained that I had to stop at Walgreens to get compression socks because I had taken my shoes off while eating lunch and couldn't get them back on!

 

I had our son just a few weeks before the world shut down for COVID. What was a trying time in history actually became one of my greatest blessings. Instead of 12 weeks of maternity leave, I ended up getting 5 months. [His name] works from home, so he got those months with our son as well. When my maternity leave ended, we were still working from home, so our son appeared on many Zoom meetings with me during that time. Then it was summer break. When all was said and done, he didn't go to daycare until just after he turned 5 months old. Daycare has been wonderful for him developmentally and socially as well, but it was a dream to have him home with me for those 5 months.

 

Fast forward to now and we just can't shake the feeling that our family isn't quite complete. Last year, we tried a series of 4 more IUIs and none of them worked. We took a break and then decided to try IVF with our last vial of donor sperm. We saved the money they said we'd need and went for the consultation. The fertility doctor delivered quite the gut punch when he said he wouldn't do IVF with my eggs. We'd have to use donor eggs. We just didn't have the money for the donor eggs AND the IVF procedures, so we took it as a sign that this wasn't right. We decided to do one last IUI, since we had the vial left. It didn't work either, so we needed to look at other options. We considered just doing foster care, but with our son so young, and his penchant for loving so deeply, we were afraid he would suffer each time a baby was reunited with their family. We considered private adoption, but we were told it could cost $70,000 and that just didn't feel right. I happened upon a mom's group and someone talked about embryo donation and that felt right. Adoption AND I get to be pregnant one last time.

 

To give you some insight into our family, we're goofy! We laugh and play and love to the best of our abilities. If you peeked into our windows on a week night, you'd probably see all of us curled up on one end of the couch watching tv or playing games together, dog included. never mind that we have a giant sectional! Our weekends look a little different and this is why. [His name) was in a bad accident with a logging truck (he was a passenger) when I was pregnant. It's a call you hope you don't get. He was out-of-state after his dad's funeral. I had driven back with his aunt and he stayed there a couple more days. He called to say they had been hit from behind by a logging truck. He didn't think he was hurt, but I made him go to the hospital anyway. He ended up having a back injury that ultimately lead to significant loss of mobility for him. So on the weekends, he works a side job at home and our son and I go and do an activity in the morning. When we get home, our son naps with [His name} and I get things done around the house and then relax a little, since I work full-time outside the home. When our son gets up from his nap, we cook together, play games together, watch movies, "go camping" - a fire pit with s'mores in the backyard, and generally just spend time together. [His name] loss of mobility cause some weight gain and the anesthesiologist wouldn't let him have the back surgery. I'm happy to report that [His name] is now back down to his target weight and they willl be scheduling his procedure in the next couple months. This will be life changing for him, to not be in constant pain and we look forward to him joining in on our weekend galavanting!

 

I'm not sure what else to add, but we're willing to answer any questions somone might have for us. Fair warning, if you ask our son or I a question, you will get paragraphs. If you ask [His name], you'll get just the answer. It's part of why we work well together. We balance each other out!

 

If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to consider us as a potential family for your embryos. We promise that if you choose us, the child born will be loved to the ends of the earth by all of us. If you do not, we wish you peace and love and everything good this life has to offer.

 

Love,

 

[His name], [Her name], and our son (and our beagle mutt)